I DID IT!!!

I did it! I completed my first 1/2 marathon. It was insane. It was harder than I thought. It was crowded. It was cold. It was hard to get around people (yes I was going around people - who woulda thought?). But it's done. Soooo done!!

I will never be able to express to my friends and family how much their support meant to me. This is such a big, huge deal to me - something I never ever thought I could do, and I DID! So many people pushed me along the way. In no particular order:
My amazing coaches Nancy and Becky, who always knew I could do it, even when I thought there was no way. They showed me to forgive myself when I screwed up, and to keep going. They are the greatest.
My training buddy Carter, who held me accountable and always had something positive to say about my improvements.
My sister Sarah, who believed in me and told me how proud she was, and even related to my frustrations (even though I always thought it was easy for her when I used to watch her). And the awesome "you can do it texts" all the way through.
Brian, who I just started dating, and is a marathoner. He knows how hard your first race is, and he fought the traffic to come down and cheer for me at mile 12, right before getting on a plane. The best thing he said to me "you can do this, you're an inspiration... Now kill that last mile!". He's the best.
My friends, who never gave me shit about leaving the party early so I could wake up for the early morning runs.
Everyone who texted and sent love on Facebook, and told me how proud they were.
All my Saturday morning running buddies. Yep, I'm the slowest of the bunch, and I always felt like a winner.
All the people who didn't think I could do it, because I DID, jerks!
I have to also thank myself for never ever giving up, and my body for carrying me the distance. But I couldn't have done it without my huge support team. You all are the best and I love you all!!!

It's finally here...

This is it. I've made it. I haven't blogged in ages, but the day is less than 24 hours away.

I sit here, scared, nervous, proud, trying to keeps it all in check, and honestly, failing... The selfish part of me is glad all this is finally over, and just wants my victory moment.

The other part of me is just so scared I'm going to fail that I don't even want to show up. And an even bigger part of me is scared I'll only make it 9 miles and have to quit for some freak reason. And the biggest part of me is scared I will just lose my shit and start bawling at the end, just like how I'm misting up just thinking about it.

And then I wonder what's next... I mean, there's always something bigger, something better. And when does it become enough?

And then there's the part of me that tells me to toughen up and keep my emotions in check. I wish I could. I'm overwhelmed. I can't wait until this is over, but I'm worried too that I'll be let down. And I can't wait to finish.

EDIT - this was written the day before the marathon, but I had to fix a typo and can't figure out how to back date from my mobile app.